Paranatural (paranaturalcom) wrote, @ 2023-08-31 17:00:00 |
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https://www.paranatural.net/comic/chapte
We all love and remember the previously-unnamed karate ghost Crush, don't we every. And Grandpa too
~
[Transcript]
Ed had a lot on their mind. It could be a busy place even in less turbulent times; the world hid weird bugs and silly-looking spirits everywhere, not to mention rocks and sticks, and when they werenât caught up parsing those, they still had old cartoons and Chun-Li frame data to think about. Adding in a doomsday prophecy and confusing drama at home and at school had thrown their headâs clutter all aboutâand they preferred the mess up there the way theyâd made it
Luckily, Ed did some of their best brain-sorting while trapped inside a headlock.
âHa ha! You better tap out, little man!â laughed Crush, who must not have known that little men were called boys. âThree-two-one!â the buff ghost counted, then again: âThreetwoONE hut hut HIKE!â
Crush must not have known how wrestling worked either, because he never let go once heâd pinned Ed when they sparred, and he would score every subsequent three count and tap out as its own separate victory, without ever releasing them. Today Ed lost ninety to zilch, a gap that was still growing every second (since Crush could fit three seconds into oneâhe must not have known how to tell time either).
Ed stared over meaty muscle hillocks, past the other students training all around them, to the much worse fight unfolding on the far side of the porch. There were no fists involved in this one, which only made it all the more intimidating.
âI shouldnât have told you anything!â Isabel was shouting, streaming swirls of blazing red. âI should have saved the town myself, and TAKEN Flipflopâs friend back without asking... but NO! I thought youâd care, even just a little. I thought for ONCE youâd take me seriously!â
Grandpa Guerra stared off past her, sitting rooted with one fist against the ground. âI am taking what youâve told me seriously, and my men and I will handle it with the composure it deserves. As you cannot, it seems, young lady.â
Ed grimaced. Theyâd been fighting off and on like this since Isabel got home. Ed could always tell when sheâd been dropped off by her dad instead of Miss Chen, because sheâd cut through the field up the hill rather than suddenly appear upon the porchâMister Guerra never drove close enough to make eye contact with Master Guerra, whom heâd been feuding with for years. Tonight, though, her expression alone had been plenty proof that sheâd just left the father frying pan and fallen straight into the grandfather fire.
âIâm notââ Isabel sputtered. âItâs not about meââ
âNo it is not. And yet youâve made it so.â Grandpa Guerra shook his head, tactically calm. âWhat did you expect that Iâve denied you? That I would hear your prophecy and share your panic? That I would free a spirit that attacked my home, not only at the behest of its accomplice, but at once, without sparing a thought for sense or safety?â He sighed. âIf you want a show of care, then by all means, ask your father. I will do whatâs best for you, and weather your scorn if I must.â
âWhatâs best for me?â Isabel asked, her voice trembling. âHow can being miserable be whatâs best for me?! Whyâs whatâs best never what I want? Whyâs it always what YOU want?!â
âBecause Iâve seen the world you havenât,â the old ghost answered, unmoving and unfazed. âWhen you are older, stronger, wiser, what we want will be the same. Until then...â Master Guerra held Flipflopâs vessel aloft, clutching the confiscated umbrella firmly in his fist, âI will allow no further whispers in your ear. Youâve failed this test. Assess yourself in solitude, and ready for the next one.â
Isabel roared in frustration, kicked the porch, fighting back tears, and spun to storm inside.
âIzzy!â Ed called out after her, squeaking free from Crushâs sweaty muscles.
âIâm fine,â she shot back.
Ed wilted. That was code for âdonât follow me,â even if she really wasnât. They watched as Isabel slipped out of sight.
âTough break, little man.â Crush had reapplied his headlock. âLittle lady said get lost!â It seemed he didnât know what girls were either. Ed thought that was tragic, or maybe ideal, or maybe neither of those thingsâtheyâd been lost on that front too since their strange conversation with RJ and Johnny the other day
Crush laughed. âLooks like the only shoulder gettinâ cried on tonight is my elbow! Ha ha ha!â
Ed considered this kind offer, but wasnât really feeling tearful. They felt more like a wet match or a sock that didnât have one. Uselessâno, that wasnât it. Inadequate? Ed felt present but purposeless, like a bystander to an accident, like a human in a Transformers movie. That WAS what Isabel had asked of them, for Ed to just stand by her side... but they couldn't help but wonder if thatâs just the most she thought that they could offer.
The bespectacled spectral sighed into Crushâs bicep, as best its mighty girth allowed his lungs. Isabel was almost like a sister to Ed, in large part because she legally literally was. Ed never called her that, though, or called Miss Chen their mom. Everyone in Edâs familyâand Mr. Spender, tooâknew Edâs real parents. They were spectral scientists, or something, and had been spirited away in a strange incident that occurred when Ed was only just a baby. Every still seemed very sad about it, though, and seemed to think Ed should be too... and so they called old photos mom and dad, and always kept a little distance from the only home theyâd ever known.
A real sibling would know how to help Isabel, Ed thought to themself. Or someone smarter. Eightfold, Dimitri, Mr. Spender, they always knew the right words... when they stuck around to say them. Edâs parents were supposed to be brilliantâwhy couldnât they have at least left Ed some genius genes behind? Heck, Spender had told Ed that the Burgers were strong, too, that theyâd chase grudges like storm chasers would chase storms, if storm chasers sometimes had to beat up tornados. If only Ed could be that fearless...
A long sigh wafted out their lips in wisps of green. More than anything right now, Ed wished that they could be some else