Almost certainly not Johnny Depp.'s Journal
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Below are the 12 most recent journal entries recorded in Almost certainly not Johnny Depp.'s InsaneJournal:

    Monday, March 2nd, 2015
    2:03 pm
    Holy crap.
    Epic releases source to Unreal 4, including all future updates, under free-ish license.

    License is free for all purposes, except if you release a product and begin taking revenues over $3K. Then they want 5% of the over-3K revenue each quarter. So you only pay if you sell more than $3K/q
    Friday, February 27th, 2015
    9:43 pm
    RE the pop quiz, "name the [thing]"
    I honestly thought I had more Exchange+RIM survivors who would have jumped on this sooner.

    But: nubule and dantheserene got it right, I was talking about Blackberry Enterprise.

    Pulling an explanation up from a comment there:

    Blackberries before Blackberry OS10 had two modes, Blackberry Internet Service (BIS) and Blackberry Enterprise Service (BES). They're so close in name and acronym because RIM (now Blackberry) ARE THE WORST AT EVERYTHING HOLY FUCK.

    Your BIS data plan was like a modern smartphone data plan. It gave you internet access and checked your email and let you do all the things a Smartphone does.... except connect to an Exchange server.

    Your BES data plan was exactly like a BIS data plan, except it works with Exchange, and your Exchange provider's BES server, to give you Exchange access on your Blackberry. And it also tended to cost 5x as much.

    This all happened forever ago. It's ancient history. It's 2006.

    Since then, smartphones were invented and Microsoft created ActiveSync, which works to seamlessly provide Exchange access to iPhones and Androids and, once Blackberries FINALLY got somewhere close to modern, Blackberries. Activesync is also free, and works on a normal data plan.

    But: Any iPhone, any Android, or any Blackberry 10 device, connects to Exchange through Activesync and Just Works.
    Any Blackberry *before* 10 requires BES, which means it requires that the Exchange server have a BES server with BES enabled for the Exchange account (vendor #1) and your cellphone provider needs to provide a BES data plan (vendor #2), and then you need to do Enterprise Activation and push Service Books and all kinds of RIM crap from before smartphones were a thing.

    My client has several Blackberries from before Blackberry 10. And my recommendation to get them onto the brand spanking new Exchange 2013 server was "walk into Best Buy[1], buy a fucking iPhone[2]" because that's SO MUCH EASIER.

    [1]: Or Future Shop or Rogers Store or the cellphone kiosk at Costco or....
    [2]: Or any Android, or even a Blackberry 10 device if you can't live without a phone that sucks, but NOT BLACKBERRY 9.
    3:01 pm
    Geek Pop Quiz, or, Wherein I Am Bored.
    I sent an email this morning that started "Hey, we missed a prerequisite on [thing]. Nobody remembered this requirement because it's not 2006 and nobody has seriously used [thing] in the last decade."

    This was a followup on my yesterday suggestion, which was that everyone who seriously wanted to use [thing] should be told to go to [store] and pick up [off the shelf] instead, it would be faster, easier, and cheaper.

    Pop quiz: What do you think [thing] is?

    A shiny precious no-prize for the correct answer. A second one for the BEST answer.

    EDIT: Hints pulled up from comments.

    #1: [thing] is a software feature, but it's an obsolete one, with complex prerequisites, that requires vendor-side support. Multiple different vendors, in fact. Like, ACTUAL SUPPORT, not "I have to go to multiple web pages to download packages" but "multiple different companies have to change things ON THEIR SIDE to make this work, per user."

    Meanwhile, COTS consumer-grade commercial devices, available EVERYWHERE (at least three places in any given shopping mall), do the exact same thing, better, simpler, requiring very little vendor support.

    #2: in 2006 I, as a person who Fixed All The Things for employees of My Beloved Corporate Masters, dealt with [thing] on nearly a daily basis.

    And by 2008 it was *dead*. In part because by 2008 I no longer worked for an international megacorporation, but also in general. Employees of international megacorporations probably still encountered occasional instances of [thing] in the hands of legacy users for years afterwards.
    Wednesday, February 25th, 2015
    7:13 pm
    Name That Movie
    There's a film. I can't remember what film it is. An early scene involves Our Protagonist (possibly Our Villain?) getting the old crew back together, IIRC a criminal crew. He's calling them on the phone.

    Cut to an older man (50s-70s), double-chinned, balding, sitting in a trailer home. IIRC the actor is not famous, but he's the kind of character actor I recognise as being That Guy from That Movie.

    He has 6 identical revolvers on a table. He puts one bullet in one chamber one of them. He puts the revolvers in a sack, shakes them up, reaches in, pulls out a revolver, spins the chamber, puts it up against his temple and pulls the trigger. Click, no fire.

    He puts the gun back in the sack, shakes it up, pulls out a new gun, spins the chamber, puts it against his temple, and his phone rings.

    He answers the phone, it's Our Protagonist. The old man playing Russian Roulette still has the gun to his own head, and says "Oh, not much. I'm not busy..... a job? Sure!" or something very like that, before putting the gun down.

    I can't remember what movie this is from.


    A valuable no-prize to the first person to find it!
    11:24 am
    theweaselking @ 2015-02-25T10:42:00
     photo B-roUaNWkAAvNHO_zps0wjqdcsf.jpg
    Tuesday, February 24th, 2015
    8:33 pm
    theweaselking @ 2015-02-24T19:36:00
     photo B-gVu-XIYAAYe-q.jpg large_zps3vaphm3i.jpg
    8:33 pm
    theweaselking @ 2015-02-24T19:36:00
     photo fallstreak5_zpsnl27uybx.jpg
    4:58 pm
    Saturday, February 21st, 2015
    10:16 pm
    theweaselking @ 2015-02-21T21:45:00
    Finland, to be dragged kicking and screaming into The Century
    Of The Fruitbat, sometime in 2017,
    which means they'll probably lag behind Mississippi and Vermont.

    Better than nothing, but, seriously, UTAH beats you to basic bare-minimum humanity? That's really sad.
    Friday, February 20th, 2015
    11:36 am
    Today in sad, terrible, unfunny jokes that aren't jokes.
    Settlers Of Catan: The Movie

    I'm not joking.
    Thursday, February 19th, 2015
    8:41 pm
    Tuesday, February 17th, 2015
    10:42 pm
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