|Friday, January 30th, 2015|
|nursing a semi
when a man gets half exciited. not a full boner, but he is nearly there.
Man, i was nursing a semi when that chic got out of the pool
|Thursday, January 29th, 2015|
A time in which one person gains a mate and his friends out of jealousy or any other reason, also find a mate.
Oh God, Mark has a girlfriend. Here come the Monogamy Parade
|Wednesday, January 28th, 2015|
When someone or a group of people decide to take a selfie at the absolute wrong moment in time. Like at a funeral or during intercourse.
Girl 1: OH MY GOD! Did you see that selfie of the two of them at that funeral!?!
Girl 2: I know! I can't believe they took that! It's such an Inappropriate selfie!
|Tuesday, January 27th, 2015|
To masturbate while crying, and using the tears as lubricant
im upset my cat died, but am gonna use these tears in my next sad masty to create a happy ending
|Sunday, January 25th, 2015|
The discomfort that occurs due to an inability to pass flatus on a flight.
Just got in from London and man, due I have some turdulence.
|Saturday, January 24th, 2015|
The deciding factor of who gets the car phone charger. The lowest battery power always gets the charging port first.
Hand over the the charger quick before my phone goes dead!. At five percent battery I've got the percentage advantage on you guys.
|Friday, January 23rd, 2015|
striving to be more of a bitch than the average bitch
Ugh! Britney fucked my boyfriend!
Yeah, she's pretty ambitchous.
|Thursday, January 22nd, 2015|
When you're trying to make a conversation with a girl/guy you met recently, either A) online B) via text message or C) in person, and she/he responds to any of your questions with blank stares, one letter text messages using the words: oh, cool, or nice, or nothing at all until you have to try to change the subject.
Ron: so do you have any brothers or sister?
~4 minute delay~
Ron: Are you the oldest?
~2 minute delay~
Ron: So how was your day?
~2 minute delay~
Ron: Are you conversation walling me on purpose?
Ron: I think I'd have a better conversation with a brick wall.
|Wednesday, January 21st, 2015|
|Sing a disney song
Have sex or do anything sexual.
*Taken from the movie Lion King where Simba and Nala lick each other while the song "Can You Feel The Love Tonight" plays.
G: Honey, I feel horny as ever
B: Come on and sing a disney song with me babe
G: Screw me.
|Tuesday, January 20th, 2015|
When you walk up to someone on the sidewalk and you both try to move out of each other's way, and in doing so repeatedly move into each other's way.
"Why are you late?"
"I got stuck doing the sidewalk salsa."
|Monday, January 19th, 2015|
When a close friend of yours hangs out with someone else, and you feel jealous that they aren't hanging out with you.
Bob: Hey, where's Alice?
Carol: She's hanging out with Dana today. Just like yesterday...I think I'm coming down with a case of platonic jealousy.
|Saturday, January 17th, 2015|
|pre party nerves
the butterflies and overwhelming feeling of nervousness and anxiety before a big party
turn the car around, im having pre party nerves!!!