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Below are the 4 most recent journal entries recorded in Adam Lambert Fanfiction's InsaneJournal:

    Thursday, January 22nd, 2015
    8:32 pm
    Anger 1/1
    Title: Anger
    Author: StormyBear30
    Author Website:
    Pairing: Kris/Adam
    Rating: Slight R
    Summary: Part two in the emotions series.
    Authors Note: All mistakes are mine and this is un-betad.
    Disclaimer: I dont know them. I have no idea of their sexual orientation. These are just stories that the muses in my head forced me to write.

    When Kris woke up the next morning he found himself alone in the bed he and Adam had shared. Rolling onto his side he recalled the last time they had laid there together and the amazing evening they had spent together making love to each other before Adam had left for tour. Tears pricked his eyes but he fought them back as he also remembered the colossal fight they had first thing the next morning after they woke up. He couldn't remember what the fight was about only that Adam had been pissed off enough that he had stormed out of the house and he hadn't heard from him for three days. Even the Face Time call they had finally shared had ended up in another argument. The truth of the matter was that he and Adam had been fighting over a lot of nothings prior to the night of his betrayal and although they seemed to get over them on the surface the underlying anger, at least for Kris was always still there.

    He could remember a time when they had been so happy and so in love that they couldn't keep their hands off of each other for several years and then little by little their relationship shifted to the point that they were hardly tolerating each other. If Kris was being truthful with himself he knew that the constant hot and cold of their relationship was the cause of their divide and yet he never in a million years would have thought that it would be the cause of Adam cheating on him.

    The shock of the evening had disappeared and in its place the anger had set in his stomach. A ball of anger so huge and so hot that he knew was going to quickly consume him and yet at that moment he truly didnt care. He knew he should call Adam and talk to him but the burn of that anger halted him from doing it. He wanted to punch something so badly, namely Adam but since he wasn't there to inflict any damage upon he decided to take it out on the ugly purple leopard print sheets and comforter set that Adam had insisted on when they had first gotten together. He had hated them on sight but at the beginning all Adam had to do was give him a little pout and he would cave in without question. Pulling the heavy comforter from the bed he threw it on the floor, the sheets, pillow covers and shams landing in a pile on top of it. He debated grabbing a pair of scissors and cutting them to shreds but decided fire was a better way to destroy them as he grabbed everything up and went in search of its demise. "What the fuck are you doing?" He heard Brad ask a little bit later as he sat in front of the fire pit in the backyard watching the last of the comforter go up on a blaze of glory. "Holy shit you've lost your fucking mind" Kris ignored the smart remark as he got up off of the chair he had been sitting on and went in search of more of the ugly shit that Adam had convinced him that they needed throughout the house.

    " you feeling better now that you've burnt pretty much all of Adam's things" Brad asked him carefully as he stood from a distance in the large back yard a short time later. He had learned the hard way to stay out of Kris's way when he was angry and on a mission and had the bruises on his ass to prove it.

    "Why yes Brad I feel so much better now that I've burned that cheating piece of shits shit" Kris replied sarcastically as he rushed back into the house looking for anything more of Adam's that he could burn.

    "Kris...look I know you're angry but this isn't the answer that you are looking for. I know you don't want to hear this but you really need to speak to Adam. I spoke to him this morning and he's a mess. You need to call him and..."

    "I need to call him and what" Kris shouted as he threw the pair of leather boots he had found in the hall closet across the room. The two of them watching as they landed in the middle of a glass top coffee table before shattering into a thousand tiny pieces. "Do you think that I give a fucking care that he's a mess. You dont think that Im a mess He yelled before storming off into the kitchen. Four years&four fucking years and this is what he does to me He continued to rant as he threw open the large pantry and began grabbing stuff off the shelf and slamming it on the counter before going in search of some trash bags. Four years of biting my tongue and always agreeing to what he wanted because I didnt want to upset him. Four years of him always getting what he wanted and always fucking telling me what to do. Four years of putting my career on hold so we could focus on his and this is how he repays me He continued to rant as angered years bled down his face.

    Hes removing just about everything from the pantry and placing it in garbage bags Brad spoke as quietly as he could into the phone as he watched Kris continue to have his apparent melt down. I dont know why hes doing it He answered the person he was speaking to. It started with the bed set and then just progressed from there. He burned everything's of Adams he could get his hands on He went on as he looked at the cloud of smoke still coming up from the fire pit in the back yard. Hell no Im not going to try and stop him. The last time I did he knocked me on my ass literally Brad cried out, moving further away from Kris in fear of something like it happening again because there was no doubt the man was unstable. Ive tried to tell him to talk to Adam but he refuses. I think you need to come over here and talk some sense into him because if you dont hes liable to burn the whole fucking house down. Ill stay with him for as long as I can but seriously little man is freaking me out Brad whispered, his back to the kitchen. Jesus Fuck make some fucking noise He cried out as he ended his call and found Kris staring at him with his arms across his chest.

    You need to leave Kris spoke in a monotone as he grabbed onto Brads arm and started dragging him towards the front door. I know you are here because Adam sent you but honestly Brad I dont really give a shit as to what he is feeling or what excuse hes going to give me for whats hes done

    Nothing will ever be solved unless you speak to him Brad said cautiously. And Im not just here because Adam sent me. Im here because youve been dealt a huge blow and I knew you would need someone here for you

    Youve never cared before and I hardly think that you care now Kris shot back in anger as he opened the door once they reached it. Adam is your best friend and you would do anything he asked of you

    I actually came here on my own accord and as for Adam I didnt take his calls right away because I was so fucking pissed that he did this to you Brad told him as he jerked his arm out of Kriss grasp. You and I may not be the best of friends but Ive been in your shoes and I know how painful it is when the person you love does something as horrible as this. Let me be there for you Kris

    Kris was dumbstruck for a moment at Brads words and even though he didnt want to admit it he was touched as well, but more than that he was angry and wanted nothing more than to be left alone as he tried to process what he was going to do about it. I appreciate that you want to be her Brad but I need to be alone. I need to think about some things and make some decisions

    And call Adam& Brad cut him off because he feared that Kris was going to do something more drastic then just destroy more of Adams things after he left, but that he was going to make decisions that left devastating holes in both of their hearts.

    Not right now Kris told him, the anger starting to wear off only to be replaced by bone crushing sadness once again.

    When? Brad asked carefully, not wanting to push the man too hard but wanting an answer regardless.

    I dont know Was his reply as he grabbed onto the sides of Brads head and kissed him hard before pushing him away with the slam and a lock of the door.

    Kris heard the front door open and then close, heard the clack of heels behind him, but he didnt say a word as the scent of a familiar perfume wafted around him. His eyes continued to linger on the object lying on his lap as Adams mom sat down on the couch beside him. There are a lot of memories in that book He heard her say as she nodded towards the photo album.

    Yeah... Kris replied numbly as he traced his finger over the glossy surface. From the moment we started dating he insisted that we start a photo album because he said it was tangible proof that we were finally together. I thought it was so romantic at the time but now its just a painful reminder of the lie that is our relationship He said around the ball of pain in his throat. I wanted to burn it with everything else but I just cant For what felt like the hundredth time since he saw the photos of Adams betrayal the day before he began to cry. Why would he do this to me? He questioned as he turned and looked at the woman who looked so similar to the man who had broken his heart.

    I honestly dont know She replied equally as tearful as she reached out and pulled him into her arms and held him until the tears didn't come anymore. Are you going to call him? She asked a little bit later as they continued to sit on the couch looking at the picture of him and Adam smiling lovingly at each other.

    I dont know if I can He shrugged halfheartedly because it was all the energy he had left. Im afraid He finally admitted. I cant explain why&I just am He went on when she didnt say anything. How&how did you handle it when Eber cheated on you? He stammered, hating that he had asked the question at the flash of pain that played across her face.

    Oh&well& Leila stumbled for a moment unsure about how much she should tell him. It was really hard She began after deciding to tell him the truth. Im not condoning what my son did but when Eber cheated on me it was because we were having problems and had been for a very long time.

    "Adam and I have been having problems for the last several months. We've just never told anyone" He shrugged again as he slumped into the cushion of the couch. "Like father like son I guess"

    "I don't really think you should compare the two of them Kris" Leila said as she reached out and took his hand. "What I'm about to tell you needs to stay between us Kris You have to promise me that you will never tell either one of my boys"

    "I promise..." Kris assured as he sat up a bit straighter and listened to what she had to say.

    "As I said neither of the boys know this but the truth of the matter is that Eber and I only got married because I got pregnant. In fact we wouldn't have gotten married at all but his father and mine forced the issue until we just gave in. We were somewhat happy at the beginning but eventually he grew bored with family life and cheated. I thought about leaving him but then I found out I was pregnant again and ignored his betrayal. I felt that maybe with a second baby to care for it would bring us closer but it only caused him to pull further away and he cheated on me once again. I confronted him that time and he promised to never do it again and yet not a year later he did it yet again. I filed for divorce after that because no matter how much I still loved him I couldn't get past the betrayals and the lies any longer"

    "I'm so sorry Leila" Kris said as he squeezed the hand she was still holding. "I can't even imagine how painful that was for you"

    "It was hard and there was a lot of anger on my part for a long time because not only was there his betrayal to deal with but there was the fact that the kids were hurt because they really had no idea what was going on. I never really told them the truth, just that we would always care for each other but we couldn't live together any longer" Kris could see the sadness in her eyes as he leaned forward and pulled her into his arms. "I know your hurt honey and I know you are angry but I know my son and he is not his father. He loves you so much and although I am angry at him for what he's done I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive him. The two of you are soul mates and you belong together.

    I thought so too but now I dont know Kris replied numbly as he looked down at the photo once again. I just need to be alone and think about a few things

    Ill leave you alone Kris but you have to promise that you are going to call Adam and at least hear what he has to say

    I will Kris said but he wasnt so sure that he would be able to place that call no matter how much he knew he needed to.

    Dont give up on my son baby. He messed up badly but you have to know that his heart belongs to you and it always has. I love you Kris&no matter what happens He had no words as she hugged him quickly before watching her walk away leaving him alone with his hurt and confusion once again.

    He knew he should call Adam and at least hear what he had to say but the anger was back and he knew in his state nothing good would come from speaking to him. The fact was he wanted to stew in his anger for a while longer; he had earned that right after what Adam had done. You piece of shit mother fucker He yelled at the photo he was looking at once again before slamming the photo album shut and throwing it across the room. He wanted to burn more of Adams shit, wanted to destroy everything that belonged to the man so that when he finally came home from his tour maybe he would hurt as much as Kris was, but he held back. Taking a deep breath he decided to go for a run and try and burn off the anger and maybe even try and clear his head. He had no idea what he was going to say to Adam once he finally did speak to him but what he did know was that for once since the start of their relationship he wasnt going to allow the man to get away with what he had done. For once Kris was going to stand up to him and let him know just how badly Adam had hurt him and no amount of playful cuteness was going to make his change his mind as it always had in the past. With another deep breath he looked at the photo album still lying on the floor before heading to the bedroom to change.

    The End&for now.
    Thursday, January 15th, 2015
    8:20 pm
    Shock 1/1
    Title: Shock
    Author: StormyBear30
    Author Website:
    Pairing: Kris/Adam
    Rating: Slight R
    Summary: Kriss life changes drastically at the opening of an email sent to him.
    Authors Note: All mistakes are mine and this is un-betad.
    Disclaimer: I dont know them. I have no idea of their sexual orientation. These are just stories that the muses in my head forced me to write.

    Kris's phone started ringing at almost the same time that he opened the email alert that had been sent to him. He didn't answer it, he couldn't if he tried because his entire body felt nothing but numb. Tears burnt his eyes but they refused to fall due to that same numbness that surrounded him. His mind seemed to be the only thing working properly as he tried to figure out how he had become one of those people he had only ever read about or seen on TV. He continued to sit there, for how long he wasn't sure as he played over every incident that may have led to the betrayal that played out before him in vibrant color and yet he was still unable to muster the strength to do much more than continue to stare at the pictures in front of him. The numbness disappeared at the familiar ringtone of the man who had just shattered him as a pain so severe shot through him and took his breath away. His breath continued to hold as the ringing echoed loudly around him only to expel in a painful whoosh as his legs no longer could hold him and he crashed to the floor. A wail of heartbreak expelled from his throat as the harshness of the situation finally wormed its way into his broken heart. In that instant the wails increased, the tears that had refused to come earlier began splashing down his face as quick as a raging river.

    Kris&baby&oh shit Kris heard someone call his name, a blurry face appearing before him due to the tears still clinging to his eyes. Blinking quickly he found the concerned face of Adams best friend staring back at him. There was nothing but silence between them for what felt like forever, proving to Kris that the pictures he had seen before were actually real because for as long as he had known Brad Bell he had never been at a loss for words about anything.

    Why? Kris asked the one question that he knew neither one of them could answer but he wanted an answer anyway.

    I dont know Brad replied so quietly that Kris almost didnt hear him. The only person who can tell you that is Adam and hes been trying to reach you for the last several hours Several hours, Kris hadnt realized it been that long but as he glanced up and saw the darkness through the living room window he knew it had to be true. Well I would like to think that youre not answering your phone because your screen is pretty much destroyed but I dont think thats the only reason is it? He shrugged as he held up the phone with the shattered screen. Kris couldnt remember if he had dropped it after opening the email or if he had thrown it at what he saw inside it but either way the phone was destroyed.

    No& Kris replied roughly, his throat heavy and sore from the pain lodged there.

    Kris I know what you saw looks bad but maybe if you talk to him he can explain Brad said, looking so conflicted that Kris couldnt help but reach out and touch his cheek because he hated to see the normally vibrate man looking anything less.

    I cant He told him as he attempted to get up but the pain in his heart bursting forward so quick and so hard the he fell back down again. Why? He yelled as loud as he could despite the pain in his throat as he lost himself in the support of Brads arms. The tears came so hard and so fast that he could hardly keep his breath and yet no matter how hard he tried he couldnt stop them. He felt as if he was in a dream like state as reality began to weave in and out around him and then thankfully he felt nothing.

    Kris didnt know where he was for several moments as he opened his eyes and found himself surrounded by darkness, but then he heard Brads angered voice coming from somewhere around him and the reality hit him once again. He doesnt want to talk to you and I cant fucking blame him He heard Brad try to speak in a low voice, but due to the silence of the room Kris heard it very clearly. You can explain His voice got louder and due to the clicking going on behind him Kris could tell he was pacing in agitation. There are pictures of you getting your dick sucked in the alley of some club by your ex-boyfriend&there really is no explanation needed Brad sounded offended and pissed on Kriss behalf and although he was Adams best friend it made him feel less alone. Im taking his side because you fucked up Adam. How could you do this to him? HIM&the man that you told me was your soul mate&the man of your dreams&the one that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with Hearing those words brought the reality crashing over him once again but that time instead of tears he found a burning bile rising up his already painful throat. Fuck Kris& He heard Brad call out after him but he didnt stop as he raced to the kitchen sink and emptied out the contents of his stomach. Easy&rinse He heard Brad speak softly, his hand rubbing a soothing circle over his back as he handed him a glass of water. Kris did what was asked of him, the water rinsing the disgusting taste in his mouth yet only to have his stomach roll once again when he attempted a second sip. Come on baby lets get you to lay down for a bit Kris wanted to fight him but his mind and his body felt weightless and so he allowed Brad to do whatever he wanted to do.

    Its real? He questioned even though he knew it was as he was lead down the hallway towards the bedroom.

    Its real Brad replied with tears in his own eyes as he helped Kris lay down in the bed he shared with the man who had betrayed him and broken his heart into a hundred million pieces. I know you dont want to speak to him right now but you are going to have to eventually

    Kris did know that he would have to speak to Adam eventually but not right then, right then all he wanted to do was close his eyes and forget that the man that he loved, the man who had promised to love and take care of him until the end of time had cheated on him with the man he had been with before they had gotten together. Taking a deep breath, he cleared his mind of everything and anything that pertained to Adam and allowed sleep to overtake him.

    The end&for now.
    Tuesday, January 13th, 2015
    8:17 pm
    glambert_fic @ 2014-10-06T23:25:00
    By: We_Dreamerz
    Betaed By: bigj52
    Pairing: Adam Lambert/Tommy Joe Ratliff
    Genre: RPS
    Rating: NC17
    Word Count: 3,976
    Status: Complete Oneshot
    Warnings: Porn
    Disclaimer: Although I wish they were mine to play with...Adam and Tommy belong to themselves and all of this didnt happen.

    Summary: Is it all an act? A game? Does it matter? Adam can't let Tommy go.

    Monday, January 12th, 2015
    8:17 pm
    Precious Gift (Part 1 of 2)
    Title: Precious Gift, Part 1
    Verse: Addi Baba
    Author: cunningdeb
    Rating: PG
    Pairing: adam/kris
    Summary: AU: Two years ago, Kris Allen left his life behind in the States to follow the intriguing Sheikh Addi Baba (Adam) and work for his foundation. This year, Addi and Kris invite Kris family to spend the holiday at their home in Dubai. It promises to be a magical gathering on many levels.

    Sorry it took so long. Hope it was worth it. Part 1 -
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