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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in
Young enough to know better. Old enough not to care.'s InsaneJournal:
| Tuesday, December 26th, 2017 | |
| 2:10 pm | Fic: Some Enchanted Woodland Title : Some Enchanted Woodland Author :  bigtitchRating : 18, Slash Characters : Stephen/Cutter, Lyle, Kermit, Ditzy Disclaimer : No names, no pack-drill Spoilers : None Summary : The Secret Santa for [Bad username: gold arrow] It was three days before Xmas and Stephen was wanking in the shower. As the hot water cascaded over his head and down his back his mind took him to a place where Nick Cutter was kneeling before him sucking on his cock. Cutter was smiling as he took enthusiastically to his task. His tongue was so talented, swirling around the head of Stephen's cock while sucking with just the right amount of pressure. It was so good. So good. So ... goooood. Stephen came in white spurts. He stood for a moment with his head down now watching his come wash down the drain. It was a release. Nothing more. Cutter had barely looked at him since he had come back through the anomaly with Ryan to discover that he had been thought dead, had been killed in one of Helen's schemes, while he had been trying to survive in the past. He badly wanted to rekindle their earlier closeness, but didn't even know where to start. He shook his head and reached for his towel to discover Lyle standing in the doorway to the showers. 'You know, some people might have said something instead of just standing there,' Stephen said. Lyle shrugged. 'Some people might.' Stephen brushed past him. It was pointless trying to shame Lyle. The man was impervious to it. 'Nothing wrong with a good wank,' Lyle observed. 'But it didn't seem to make you happy.' 'It wasn't the wank,' Stephen started. 'It was...' He couldn't find the words. 'Not the person you wanted to be having sex with,' Lyle supplied. Stephen grunted and started drying himself. 'You know, for two intelligent academics, you have so little common sense between you and Cutter.' Stephen looked up, startled. 'In the whole ARC, the only people who don't know you two are pining after each other are Cutter and yourself.' 'Cutter's pining?' 'Like someone's stolen his favourite fossil.' 'Oh.' Stephen thought about approaching Cutter and declaring himself. Then he shook his head. 'There's too much past between us,' he said. 'Then find something new and start from there. Please. For all our sakes!' 'Since when did Jon Lyle give out relationship advice?' 'I'm an officer, aren't I? They put me on man-management courses. And besides, Mum ran an agony aunt column for a while.' Stephen's mouth fell open at the thought of Lyle's formidable mother dispensing sympathy to the needy. 'It didn't last long,' Lyle said. 'They said she didn't have the right tone.' 'Well, it's not easy,' Stephen said, still mentally shuddering at the idea. 'I think I'm glad I got the son and not the mother.' ----- It was Christmas Eve at the ARC and that meant a skeleton admin staff, but a fully stocked set of special forces and 'away team' members. So Stephen was sharing the building with Cutter and Lyle's bunch. It was a quiet day with the odd feeling that you really should be elsewhere doing more important stuff. Connor and Abby were at Connor's parents' house. Lester was away with his children. Stephen was in his office comparing footprint casts with ones online wishing he could find a reason to talk to Cutter in his office. His office door slammed open. 'GRENADE!' a voice yelled as a small object landed on the floor. The door slammed shut again. Stephen looked up from the reflexive crouch he'd assumed between his desk and the filing cabinet. The 'grenade' was a small parcel of christmas serviette fastened with a rubber band. He opened it to reveal a warm mince pie, only slightly crumbled from its express delivery. He opened his office door and looked down the corridor to find Ditzy, Finn, Lyle and Kermit proceeding down the hallway in an approved MoD four-man 'brick' formation in full assault kit, including respirators, but wearing Santa hats. 'These aren't bad,' Cutter's voice spoke behind him. Stephen tried his. 'I think they've added a bit of brandy in there.' 'That's why I said they aren't bad.' The anomaly alarm went off. The commando Santas stood up from their crouched position and raced to the atrium. Stephen stuffed the rest of the mince pie in his mouth and followed them, Cutter close behind. ----- Alan, the technician in charge of the ADD while Connor was away, pushed his over-large elf hat back from his eyes and pointed at the map display. 'Syon Park.' Cutter checked his watch. 'It's dark, they'll be shut.' Alan was already typing into a database and shook his head. 'It's dark. They have an Enchanted Woodland light display walk through the arboretum going on.' He reached for the phone. 'I'll get the local police to tell them to evacuate.' 'Credible bomb threat again?' asked Lyle. Alan grinned. 'It usually works.' Lyle turned to to the rest. 'Okay guys. Kit up. Time to get the blues and twos going.' ----- It was a thrilling experience sitting in an emergency vehicle being expertly driven at speed through the darkened streets of a city. They went through Brentford High Street at something way over the speed limit with Stephen only having to grab the dashboard once, when a party of revellers decided on the worst possible time to cross the road and nearly invited themselves to an extended stay in A&E. Luckily Lyle's reflexes were up to the job and he swerved round them, leaving nothing worse behind than a bus driver suddenly needing a change of underwear. They turned off from the street and drove down a narrow lane only dimly lit by street lights. A high brick wall stretched away to the their left. At one end a policeman stood waving them forwards and to the left. A few minibuses were pulled up under a sign advertising 'Snakes and Ladders'. Beside them a handful of police wearing helmets and carrying round shields were standing. 'Looks like they've sent the riot squad. They must have heard you were coming boss,' said Finn from the back seat. 'They're learning,' was Lyle's comment as he screeched to a halt inches from the nearest minibus. 'Where's your boss?' Finn shouted to the group of police. 'Over by the entrance!' one of them pointed towards a confused gaggle of people under bright lights further along the lane. The ARC team jogged over and one of the helmeted police broke away from the group and went to meet them. His expression was that of a man whose toilet had just overflowed and was expecting them to dump a new load of shit over his feet. 'You made good time,' he said. 'For once we're not far away,' Lyle replied. 'What have we got?' 'An anomaly. We won't know until we see it. How's the evacuation going?' 'We're still waiting for two teams to come back in.' This was from a middle-aged woman in a green fleece with Syon Park embroidered on it. She had a pleasant face and competent-looking eyes. Her badge said 'Alice Waverley - Volunteer Coordinator'. 'We used our standard evacuation plan. The staff have gone in with torches to escort people back here. Luckily, the dark means the public tend to stick to the paths.' 'What area are we talking about?' Alice produced a map of the grounds. 'Just round the lake with a detour to the house itself. It's a mile and a bit long.' The team gathered round to have a look. 'You don't look like the bomb squad,' Alice remarked. She smiled when they turned to look at her. 'That's okay. It doesn't look like a bomb.' Her smile broadened. 'The most we've got out there is a big disco ball. We don't run to big, sparkly, free-standing light effects. It's over by the far end of the lake.' They walked through the entrance. 'Do you want me to turn the lights off?' Alice asked. 'Do you have any strobe lights?' Cutter asked. 'God no! We want to entertain our visitors, not give them fits.' In the darkness, trees could be seen lit up in green and purples. 'Keep them on then, the more light the better.' As they were talking a scared-looking family arrived accompanied by a man in a Syon Park fleece carrying a bright torch. 'Alice, there's something out there,' he said. 'I didn't get a good look at it, but I heard it.' 'Where?' Lyle asked. 'Near the lake by the UV light tunnel.' 'Okay we'll deal with it from here.' 'There's still one gardener out there,' Alice warned. Lyle nodded. 'We'll look out for him. Stephen, you're with Finn and Ditzy. Take the left-hand side. Cutter, you're with me and Kermit. We'll go the right-hand route. Last one to the anomaly gets them in at The Ship when we get back!' ----- The park was dark with oases of light where trees had been floodlit in various colours. Some trees had decorations hanging from them and some had little festive scenes set up at their bases. Stephen was sure that they would be charming and entertaining to walk past if they weren't searching for something that could kill them. There was a roaring sound to his right and all four of them swung their weapons in that direction. Smoke lifted from the surface of the lake, but it came from the head of a plastic sea monster. Stephen exchanged slightly sheepish looks with Finn. At least the display wasn't getting shot on general principles. A disco ball high in a tree scattered shards of light on the branches and ground. It was pretty, but they were looking for a different light display. Suddenly, there came screams from the darkness past the disco ball lights. Stephen started shining his torch into the dark, trying to see what was there. He spotted a light shining back in his direction. As they got closer he could see it was in the hands of a woman sheltering two children behind her and shining her torch frantically in the dark. It illuminated a large shape that loomed over them. What Stephen saw momentarily stopped him in his tracks. It was a T-Rex in all but size. The shape was right, but it only stood the height of a man. It's teeth looked dangerous enough, though. It moved forward, clearly not letting the light shining in its eyes deter it from its prey anymore. A shot rang out and the creature stumbled. Another shot and it fell sideways. 'Nice one, Finn!' Stephen called. 'Ahem!' said Ditzy running forward, rifle pointing at the T-Rex where it twitched on the ground. Finn joined him, but it was obvious that another bullet was not necessary. The T-Rex gasped and then was still. 'Is that what I think it is?' Finn asked. 'T-Rex. Juvenile, though.' Stephen replied. Ditzy was checking on the civilians, who were standing there, shocked. 'Are any of you hurt?' 'No,' said the woman gardener, holding a shaking hand to her head. 'What's happening?' 'We need to get you back to the entrance,' Ditzy said, avoiding her question. 'Finn here will escort you.' 'I can manage,' she said, bracing herself. 'I know the way.' 'We don't know how many of these are out there,' Stephen said. 'There may be an adult still alive.' Ditzy finished giving Finn his orders: 'Get them out and then come straight back here. If there's more of these about we'll need all the firepower we can get!' Finn disappeared off back down the way they had come with the woman and children in tow. Stephen and Ditzy carried on into the dark, wary and watchful. The dark held teeth. But where was the anomaly. ----- The light shows continued as they carried on. They could see the lights from the torches of Lyle, Cutter and Kermit reflected on the still surface of the lake. Then Ditzy pointed ahead. 'There it is!' Stephen saw it then, amongst some trees. Less garish than the artificial light displays they had been passing by. More beautiful in its way, but much more dangerous. Stephen held up his hand as they ran up to it and started quartering the ground with his torch as Ditzy stood guard. He was looking to see what tracks remained there. Lyle and the others approached. 'What have we got?' 'Juvenile T-Rex back there,' Stephen didn't bother to lift his head from his task. 'An ex-T-Rex,' Ditzy said. 'Sorry professor, but it was attacking some children.' 'Ach, too stupid to live then,' Cutter said. 'Any more to worry about, Stephen?' 'I don't think so,' Stephen said. The ground is trampled but I can't see more than one set of creature prints.' 'Has anyone gone through?' Stephen stopped and looked at Cutter. 'You had to say it didn't you?' He looked at Lyle, seeing acceptance and permission in his face. 'Well, let's do it, then.' He stepped towards the shining lights of the anomaly. ----- He arrived in bright sunlight on a green hillside. He blinked against the light of the sun. Ditzy quickly pulled on a set of sunglasses and scanned the area for threats. 'Stephen!' 'What?' 'Over there!' Ditzy gestured with his gun. Another T-Rex, this time alive, was walking by the brow of a hill in the middle foreground. A smaller version walked beside it. 'Oh my god!' 'What?' 'That creature we have back there. It's not a juvenile! It's an adult. It's a new species.' 'Any children?' Stephen pulled himself back into the present day. He scanned the ground. 'No, no tracks apart from ours.' He looked at the new dinosaur, never before seen by man and wished he'd brought a camera through with him.' 'Professor what are you doing?' Stephen turned round to see Cutter standing beside the anomaly and squinting against the bright sunlight. 'Good question,' he said. 'What are you doing?' 'I could ask the same of you!' 'I'm checking no kids came through!' 'Did they?' 'No.' 'That's good.' Cutter raised the camera round his neck. 'We need to document this better. Fuck me! Is that a new species?' In spite of himself, Stephen couldn't help but grin. The Cutters always had their priorities sorted. ----- 'Are you seriously going to spend Christmas Day dissecting a dinosaur?' They stood together in the ARC's garage supervising the unloading of the new dinosaur on to a trolley. 'Well it's better than...' Cutter didn't finish his sentence. Better than spending it alone, Stephen supplied in his head. He considered his own options. 'Want some help?' 'But weren't you spending it with the lads?' 'They won't miss me. We can drop in for a drink and turkey sarnie in the evening.' 'Okay then. I'll talk to Norman about getting the temperature sorted in Lab 2.' 'See you tomorrow.' Cutter was already walking down the corridor - he just waved in acknowledgement. Stephen went to the locker room. The adrenalin had left his system, but he didn't feel frustrated or on edge. He felt happy. Lyle stood beside one of the clothes hooks, stripping off his bdus. 'Good shout,' he said. 'Not bad,' Stephen said. 'The fun really starts tomorrow, though.' Lyle looked quizzically at him. 'New species to describe,' Stephen explained. 'Takes all sorts.' 'Well, thanks to Ditzy's sharp-shooting we've got nearly a perfect specimen to examine. Can't waste the opportunity.' 'Make sure you don't,' Lyle said significantly. Stephen looked puzzled. Lyle picked up his towel and shower gel and leaned in close as he walked past him. 'That smile on your face isn't just because you have a new species to play with. Don't waste it.' Stephen blushed. Maybe this Christmas might be the start of something after all. The End |
| 2:10 pm | Fic: Not so Thrilling Title : Not so Thrilling Author : bigtitchRating : Gen Characters : Kermit Disclaimer : No names, no pack-drill Spoilers : None Summary : Written for the  primeval100 challenge Kermit knew that a tactical retreat was and always had been part of a military strategists toolbox. When his gun had jammed and an unhappy deinonychus had caught his eye, his reaction was to evaluate the situation and then run like hell. Backup! he yelled into his comm unit, trusting that his mates would not let him down. It was getting to be a finely honed manoeuvre. Well practised by necessity. It was also, as Kermit sprinted through a rapidly evacuated shopping centre, getting old. He was sure that the deinonychus was thoroughly enjoying itself looking for lunch. He wasnt. |
| 2:10 pm | Fic Needs Must Title : Needs Must Author : bigtitchRating : Gen Characters : Abby/Connor Disclaimer : No names, no pack-drill Spoilers : None Summary : Written for the primeval100 challenge Abby! Hmmnff! Abby! Abby pulled down the duvet and squinted at Connor. What? 'I think we need to get a place of our own really soon.' Why? I think we need our own space now. It's great sharing with Jess but I'd like us to be on our own - doing our own thing. Are you talking about sex on the breakfast bar again? No. Abby sat up and regarded Connor with a suspicious look. Why now? Why at 6:30 on a Saturday morning. Jess left something on the printer. So? It's a spring cleaning checklist. It's got 52 bullet points! |
| 2:10 pm | Fix: Loves With a Passion Called Hate Title : Loves With A Passion Called Hate Author : bigtitchRating : Gen Characters : Helen Disclaimer : No names, no pack-drill Spoilers : None Summary : Written for the primeval100 challenge In the Name of LoveShe had seen it long before she found the nightmare world with the future predators and the insects. It had taken her a while to work it out, but she gradually realised that the problem was more than the anomalies and the Christines and Lesters of this world. Even without any ARC mankind was a blight on the earth. Long before pollution and global warming there had been the destruction of the megafauna in the Americas. There was nothing to be done except wipe out the whole species and let nature start again. Helen had no choice but to do it. |
| 2:10 pm | Fic On the Up Title : On the Up Author : bigtitchRating : Gen Characters : Lester, OC Disclaimer : No names, no pack-drill Spoilers : None Summary : Written for the primeval100 challenge Fall From GraceSir William Grimes-Fortescue as Cabinet Secretary, was the most powerful man in the country and if he invited you to lunch, you went. James! he said as Lester entered the dining room. How good of you to come. Not at all, Sir William. Lunch went on with only the cricket being discussed, while Lester awaited his fate. Finally Sir William looked at Lester over the coffee. Now James, I think you have spent long enough away. Theres a position at the Treasury that would suit a man of your talents. Lester wondered how to turn down this escape from exile. |
| 2:10 pm | Fix: Cultural Pursuits Title : Cultural Pursuits Author : bigtitchRating : Adult for bad words Characters : Lyle, Ryan Disclaimer : No names, no pack-drill Spoilers : None Summary : Written for the primeval100 challenge It's Not Over'I'm not doing that again.' Lyle grasped his mug of tea in both hands as though it could protect him. 'What? Sex with Lester?' Ryan asked. 'No, that's fine. It's the other thing.' 'What?' 'Opera!' Ryan started laughing. 'You weren't there. I'm at the fucking Royal Opera House being strangled by my own bow-tie, in cramped seats, next to a fat posh bint who was taking up most of my seat as well. The music starts up and it was OK until this fatter bird starts howling in German. In Wagner, when the fat lady sings it's just started!' |
| 2:10 pm | Fic Netflix and Chill Title : Netflix and Chill Author : bigtitchRating : Gen Characters : Lester/Becker Disclaimer : No names, no pack-drill Spoilers : None Summary : Written for the primeval100 challenge: Binge'Are you sure you're OK with me going away this weekend?' 'Yes, Hils, I'm sure.' 'I wouldn't do it otherwise.' 'When we married I knew you were an SAS officer and sometimes duty will have to come first. Selection Week is important.' 'Sure?' 'Certain sure.' Lester kissed Becker goodbye and watched his lover drive away. He went back into the house, pulled the living room curtains closed and switched on the TV. A few minutes later he was looking at his selection: House of Cards, Season 3, Episode 1. He glanced towards the kitchen. Was 8am too soon for popcorn? |
| 2:10 pm | Fic: Monkey Suit Title : Monkey Suit Author : bigtitchRating : Gen Characters : Lester/Lyle Disclaimer : No names, no pack-drill Spoilers : None Summary : Written for the primeval100 challenge KnotsLester heard muffled shouting coming from the bedroom. The words were indistinct but the phrasing and emphasis indicated that his lover was indulging in an extended bout of profanity. Lester stepped out of the shower, dried himself and sauntered into the bedroom. Lyle stood before the mirror, red faced and scowling with a bow tie in his hand. Lester took the tie from his hands and put it round Lyle's neck. A few seconds later a perfect bow tie graced the scene. 'You can thank me later, with a bow somewhere else,' Lester kissed the tip of Lyle's nose. |
| 2:10 pm | Fic: Dirty Job Title : Dirty Job Author : bigtitchRating : Gen Characters : Connor, OC Disclaimer : No names, no pack-drill Spoilers : None Summary : Written for the primeval100 challenge Backlog'Dung never lies,' Stephen had said. Stephen said it, but he wasn't leading the team investigating the flora and fauna of pre-historic environments as revealed by the dung left behind by incontinent visitors to the current epoch. Or, the 'Pre-fossilised Coprolite Investigation Team'. That was Cutter's idea of a joke. The lab door opened and Connor walked in carrying a bucket with a fresh load. 'Thanks,' Janet said. 'Put it with the rest.' The line of carefully labelled buckets went round three sides of the room. 'Any time you want to help sieving, just ask.' Connor exited quickly. |
| 2:10 pm | Fic: In Plain Website Title : In Plain Website Author : bigtitchRating : Gen Characters : Jenny Disclaimer : No names, no pack-drill Spoilers : None Summary : Written for the primeval100 challenge Smoke and Mirrors'Any developments this week?' Jenny looked around the table at the handful of ARC staff. 'I put a new thread up at UFO Spotters asking if the anomaly at Ribbledale was linked to the Todmorden sightings. They're still arguing.' 'Excellent. Steve, how's Reddit doing?' 'So far r/conspiracy can't decide whether it's drugs in the water or chemtrails that are causing hallucinations. Relevant threads on r/UK turn into jokes about how Brits need dinosaur hunting licenses.' 'Nice. It all sounds good.' Jenny stood up. 'Remember guys, it doesn't matter if they're talking about it, as long as no one can take it seriously!' |
| 2:10 pm | Fic Visiting Hours Title : Visiting Hours Author : bigtitchRating : Gen Characters : Ditzy Disclaimer : No names, no pack-drill Spoilers : None Summary : Written for the primeval100 challenge A&E. Ditzy belongs to fredbassettDitzy had known several A&Es in his time as EMT to the SAS, but this was the first one he'd visited fully armed in response to an anomaly alert. He paused at reception. 'Where's the...?' The receptionist, for whom a portal to a different time didn't even make the top ten of disasters that week, pointed along the corridor. 'Minor injuries. First left.' Minor Injuries was in a bit of a state and a couple of porters had a baby postosuchus trapped behind two trolleys. 'You took your time,' a large doctor said. 'Have you tried parking round here?' |
| 2:10 pm | Fic: Murder on the Dance Floor Title : Murder on the Dance Floor Author : bigtitchRating : Gen Characters : Lester/Lyle Disclaimer : No names, no pack-drill Spoilers : None Summary : Written for the primeval100 challenge Lester dumped his suitcase on the bed and looked round the hotel room. 'Not bad.' 'I've stayed in worse,' Lyle said. 'Black Sail YHA?' 'Muddy ditch in Romania.' Lyle hefted his bag onto the bed. 'Let's get unpacked and hit the bar.' Lester glanced at what Lyle was unpacking. 'Lyle?' 'Hmm?' 'Why have you brought shin-pads to a wedding?' 'You do know there's a free bar?' 'Yes.' 'And grumpy Scot Cutter has insisted on having a proper celidh band?' 'Yes.' 'So, unlimited alcohol plus Scottish country dancing and our lot? I'm not doing strip the willow without these pads!' |
| 2:10 pm | Fic: Bird Watcher Title : Bird Watcher Author : bigtitchRating : Gen Characters : OC Disclaimer : No names, no pack-drill Spoilers : None Summary : Written for the primeval100 challenge Bird WatchingJames McDonald walked down an empty stretch of beach on the Moray Firth. He was a professional bird watcher but not a twitcher. He kept his gaze firmly on the shingle. It was hard to spot, but he finally found the nest he was after. He transferred the Greenshank eggs to the concealed bottom of his camera case. Above him a new flyer looked down on the landscape below. It spotted McDonald moving slowly. An easy target. This new world was strange, but some things were the same. Prey and how to catch them. The ancient predator started its dive. |
| 2:10 pm | Fic;Failure to Start Title : Failure to Start Author : bigtitchRating : Gen Characters : Connor, Danny Disclaimer : No names, no pack-drill Spoilers : None Summary : Written for the primeval100 challenge: Oops'Disable the cars' had seemed such a simple task when he'd been given it. Now Connor Temple stared at the innards of one of Christine's SUVs and boggled at just how impossible it seemed. If it had been a computer he could have turned it inside out in seconds, but a car engine suddenly looked a lot more solid and unbreakable. He really didn't know where to start. He dithered embarrassingly, wondering how he was going to explain this to the others. A large hand reached past Connor and pulled out several connectors, wires and tubes. 'Oops,' said Danny. |
| 2:10 pm | Fic Here Kitty-Kitty Title: Here Kitty-Kitty Author : bigtitchRating : Gen Characters : None Disclaimer : No names, no pack-drill Spoilers : None Summary : Written for the primeval100 challenge - Emergency ServicesThe callout to the barn-fire had found neither fire nor signs of burning. Green Watch complained about hoax calls, packed up and returned to the fire station. It was only then that they found the stowaway - a chunky, half-grown tabby kitten with unusually large canine teeth. "Can we keep him?" "We'll call him Fangs!" Wiser heads called the RSPCA while the corner shop was raided for cat food. "Just as well you didn't find his mum, boys. It'd take more than a tin of Felix to satisfy her!" said Abby, coaxing the sabre-tooth cat into the carrier. |
| 2:10 pm | Fic Gentlemanly Conduct Title : Gentlemanly Conduct Author : bigtitchRating : Gen Characters : None Disclaimer : No names, no pack-drill Spoilers : None Summary : Written for the primeval100 challenge. This is based on the rules for the Parliamentary charity pancake race which requires 'Gentlemanly conduct at all times'.RULES FOR THE ANNUAL ARC PANCAKE RELAY RACE The race shall take place over three laps round the lake. Handovers of the frying pan and pancake are at 200m intervals. Competitors shall stay on dry land at all times. The pancakes shall be provided by Lorraine. No additions will be permiteed. The pans are not weapons. This is not a knockout competition, metaphorically or physically. No tripping, punching or tunnelling. No superglue, bubble-wrap, concrete, man-traps, bladed weapons or trebuchets. NO GRENADES. I don't know what you're planning Lyle, but you're not allowed to do it. Sir James Lester |
| 2:10 pm | Fic Retriever Title: Retriever Author : bigtitchRating : Gen Disclaimer : No names, no pack-drill Spoilers : None Summary : Written for the primeval100 challenge 456, Cookies and Cream Ravendane Harlequin Delight, aka Cookies-and-Cream, a show-winning great dane, was having an unofficial holiday. He was shirking his breeding duties in favour of exploring. There was an enticing smell coming from somewhere and he was determined to find it. Round a corner he saw a bright oval sparkling in the air. The smell was coming from inside it. Cookies didnt hesitate. He entered and found a pile of the biggest bones he had ever seen. The Best Bones Ever! It was a struggle to bring one back, but he made it. He couldnt wait to bury this under the hearth-rug! |
| 2:10 pm | Fic: Managing Title: Managing Author: bigtitchRating: Gen Characters: Lorraine, Ryan, Norman Words: 530 A/N: Written for the Primeval Monthly Challenge Prompt 2. Norman belongs to fredbassettLorraine looked across the meeting room table at Professor Nick Cutter and sighed inwardly. The man was complaining about the lack of protection for the experts by the special forces team. The cause of this complaint was another near death experience by Stephen Hart, who had been allowed to get far too close to an irritable mastodon. As could be predicted Captain Ryan argued in defence of his men, while Lester alternated between trying to keep the peace while clearly siding with Ryan. It was Lorraine's job to minute this, which she did in her usual efficient shorthand. "Item 2.4 Safety of Non-military Personnel "Professor Cutter raised concerns about how little protection was offered to Stephen Hart in the mission regarding the mastodon in the car park. Captain Ryan replied that Hart had been acting recklessly beyond his role as animal expert. It was generally agreed that life would be a lot easier if Cutter and Hart would just get on with it and have a quick shag in the showers&" Beside her Ryan suddenly acquired a coughing fit. She glanced at him suspiciously, but he had got his normal meeting face back in place and the meeting went on without any further bronchial interruptions. Ryan held the door open for her on the way out of the meeting room. 'I didn't know you could read shorthand, Captain Ryan.' 'It's a useful skill if you want to know secrets. Not that there's anything secret about Cutter and Hart.' 'Only to themselves, apparently.' Ryan considered this. 'You know I think they both know it on one level, but each is convinced they're unlovable so they're just imagining it. One takes a step forward and the other takes a step back. It'd be an interesting dance if it wasn't likely to get one of them killed at some point.' 'Or one of your men.' 'That's true. They need a place where neither of them can back up, but they won't even go in the same car any more. Maybe I should just thump Cutter again.' Lorraine laughed. 'Don't do that, he only has so much common sense, you might start beating it out of him if you continue!' They both laughed and went their separate ways. But Lorraine started thinking about what she could arrange. For the good of the team, of course. ++++ Three days later Ryan came into the ARC maintenance office. 'Norman! Cutter and Hart are stuck in the lab-side lift!' Lorraine looked up from where she was sitting beside Norman by one of the security monitors. 'Thank you, Captain. We're aware of the situation.' 'Are you going to do anything about it?' 'Oh yes, but not until they've sorted out their little problem.' 'Remember, we're letting them out before they start using a corner as a toilet!' Norman interjected. 'I don't mind playing Cupid as long as it doesn't involve a mop and bucket!' 'Agreed,' Lorraine conceded. 'But they're definitely sitting closer together now, so I don't think it'll be too long.' Ryan came over and looked at the monitor. Cutter and Stephen were definitely sitting closer than they had at any point since he'd known them. 'It looks like it's working. You are a clever woman, Lorraine.' 'Someone has to be around here.' The End |
| 2:10 pm | Fic: Payback Title : Payback Author : bigtitchRating : Gen Characters : Major Preston, OC Disclaimer : No names, no pack-drill Spoilers : None Summary : Written for the primeval100 challenge 455: BeckerMajor Preston belongs to lukadreamingMajor Preston slammed the door to his office so hard the doors down the corridor rattled in sympathy. Corporal Morland added an extra sugar to the tea he brought in as a pacifier. Bloody Anomaly Project. Bloody Sir James Bloody Lester! Morland put the tea down and waited in silence. He demands an immediate replacement for Ryan. Not Lyle then? Absolutely not! Captain Becker, perhaps? Becker? Fine officer but hes got a stick up his arse thats a mile long& Prestons voice tailed off and a grin appeared on his face. Becker and Lester? That might be entertaining to watch. |
| Thursday, December 14th, 2017 | |
| 11:31 am | Fic: Damage Limitation (1/1) Title: Damage Limitation( Author: bigtitch(Word Count: 1700 (Rating: PG 13 (Characters/Pairing: Lester, Lyle, Cutter( Author notes: I thought of this ages ago and its take this long to write it. Lyle belongs to fredbassett. I confess to not asking permission, but Lyle's a nearly as much a fic-tart as Stephen, so I dont think he minded. Thanks to Fred for the super-fast beta.It just so turned out that Monday afternoon that Lester's car and the two returning 4x4s arrived in the ARC carpark at the same time. Lyle, Cutter and the soldiers were clearly in a good mood, joking with each other as they started to unload the equipment. Lester, who had clearly been having less of a good morning, stalked towards them like a storm cloud in a bespoke suit. He removed his phone from his ear as he drew level with them. 'You two,' he said to Lyle and Cutter, 'my office. Now please.' Lester didn't break stride as he walked towards the stairs to the atrium. Cutter and Lyle exchanged a glance and fell in behind him without a word. Lyle handed his pistol to Finn as he went past. Cutter and Lyle marched obediently behind Lester all the way through the atrium, up the ramp and through the door into Lesters office. Lester walked behind his desk and sat down, putting his mobile phone on the blotter in front of him. He gestured at the two chairs in the office and Cutter and Lyle brought them up and sat in front of the desk. How did it go at the dentists? Lyle asked before Lester had a chance to speak. It was fine. Re-attaching a crown generally isnt a complicated job, although Mr Strickling seemed to want to get as many tools into my mouth as he could fit at one time. The job was considerably enlivened and hindered by the number of texts I was getting. Let me ask you the same question I was being asked by the Minister of State for Digital and Culture Media and Sport, the Parliamentary Under Secretary of State for Arts, Heritage and Tourism, the Permanent and Deputy Secretaries for Digital and Culture Media and Sport - just what were you up to in the Victoria and Albert Museum and why is the German Ambassador interested in it! There was an anomaly, Lyle said, as though that was all the explanation anyone could want. Lester clenched his fists in the manner of someone who was hanging on to his patience by a single thread. I didnt think it was a cultural outing. The anomaly was on the third floor in the ceramics gallery, Cutter supplied. Three creatures came through. New species. They looked like a cross between a raptor and a boneheaded dinosaur - homalocephale from the shape of their foreheads. Thick and dangerous, Lyle said. Bit like the marines. Or the paras, Cutter suggested. Nah. Paras land better than these things. That one that fell down the staircase had no idea how to break a fall. Cutter nodded sagely. How badly damaged was the ceramics gallery? Not that bad. A couple of display cases over. Thats all. The anomaly was right by the staircase so I think only one creature made it into the gallery itself. You think? Lester looked disappointed. Dont you know? It was pretty much all over and done with by the time we got there. We pretty much just had to lock the anomaly and mop things up. Cutter means that literally. We had to get a mop and bucket out. Lester stood up. How did that happen? Well, the V&A has upgraded its security recently. All the terrorist threats and that. They dealt with it. Youre trying to tell me that a civilian security shift, guarding a museum, could handle a creature incursion with dangerous raptor hybrids? Yes, Lyle said, taking pity on Lesters frayed nerves. Theyve got gurkhas on the staff. Gurkhas? Lyle nodded, grinning. Three of them. Three gurkhas versus three raptors. It wasnt even remotely an even fight. Lester came around and sat on the edge of the desk, frayed nerves and dental problems forgotten. Tell me everything. This I have to hear! The ADD alarm went off about 9:30, Lyle started. We got the team together and stuck on the blues and twos until we got to the museums. The geo location wasnt that precise and we were taking bets as to whether wed be playing with real dinosaurs in the Natural History Museum, but the crowds were all heading out of the V&A so the fossils were safe. Probably just as well, Cutter said. Too many experts would spoil the broth as it were. And theyd want to adopt one. Anyway, it sounded like every alarm the museum had was going off. And we had every emergency service from Hampstead to Putney trying to park on Museum Road. We got through the police cordon and ran up the stairs to the main entrance and who was there to greet us but Sergeant Bishal Rai, late of the Second Gurkha Rifles. He had a big smile and a blood stained kukri so I knew hed already been having fun. Mr Lyle sah! he said. Weve worked together before and been on a few training excercises. Mr Lyle. They said you were working on strange shit. Well this is very strange shit, sah! I asked how he got the blood on his knife, Cutter said. He said theyd seen a strange sparkling cloud in the ceramics gallery on the security cameras. When they were on their way to investigate when a creature jumped out at them. It sounded like the creature had problems keeping its feet on the polished floor so it didnt manage a complete surprise attack. And Sergeant Bai had time to whip his kukri out and cut one of its feet off. Which really gave it balance issues. And then Bai put it out of its misery. They worked out that this was serious shit, called it in and started to evacuate the building. Well, Bai got the British security guards to deal with that. He and Gurkhas Bista and Gurung went hunting. That was after they raided a couple of the exhibits for something long and sharp to hunt with. I think the Japanese gallery was lighter a few things. I got the impression theyd been waiting for a chance to try some of them out, Cutter said. Who wouldnt? Theres a katana there Id just love to get my hands on. Can we get back to the point? Lester asked. Sorry. So were getting the sit rep from Sergeant Bai and he said that the evacuation was pretty much complete when theres this screaming from the left hand staircase. We sprint over and theres this wave of screaming school kids coming down. They were German as it turned out. We tried to fight our way through them when theres a yell and a creature comes down the stairwell and crashes at the bottom with something gold and sharp stuck in it courtesy of Gurkha Gurung at the top of the stairs. Lester consulted his phone. Would that be the jeweled elephant goad, from Jaipur in the 1870s? Lyle shrugged, It might have been,. I didnt check to see if it had a label. We got rid of the school kids as soon as we could. That might be why the German Ambassador wants a word, Cutter said. I dont like screaming kids, Lyle said. I think they got that. Lester looked at his phone again. So that explains the German Ambassador and a priceless elephant goad. Do you know what happened to a Japanese naginata polearm, 18th century with an inlaid ebony shaft? Would that be a long spear thing? Cutter asked. I believe it would be something along those lines, yes. Well the Gurkha in the ceramics gallery was guarding the anomaly with a spear. Oh, so it was undamaged? Yeah, I think so. The creature the Gurkha stuck it in was damaged, but not the spear. At least, we think so. The spear was still in the creature when it buggered off back through the anomaly. I suppose you could blame us for the loss of the spear, Lyle admitted. We stopped Gurkha Bista from going through the anomaly to get it back. But thats more like conservation work. Can you imagine the damage an armed Gurkha could do to history. Talk about stepping on a butterfly and changing the world! Cutter shuddered theatrically. Any other damage? Lester asked. Lyle shook his head. No that was it. The creatures did for a couple of ceramics display cases right at the start. But apart from the weaponry there wasnt anything else that got messed with. We locked the anomaly, did a proper sweep of the museum, but nothing else came through we could find and the anomaly closed after about an hour. Are you telling me that the ARC team went to a national monument and didnt break anything? Lyle thought about it for a second. Yes. Well you introduced a bunch of German teenagers to vocabulary you dont find in school dictionaries when that creature nearly landed on your foot. Cutter suggested. Travel is supposed to broaden the mind. Not that wide. What happened to the dead creatures? On the way to the lab. Stephen and I can dissect them later. Although I think were still missing one of the feet. You can ask Sergeant Rai about it, but Im laying bets thats heading off to the Sergeants Mess at the Gurkha barracks. Trophy of war. Cutter humphed. I was disappointed no one yelled Ayo Gurkhali! Nah, they only do that when it gets really serious. Lyle stood up. Are we done?I could really do with a cup of tea! Lester waved a hand. Yes, thank you for that interesting report, gentlemen. I shall apologise to the German ambassador for any additional distress we might have caused to his fellow countrymen while rescuing them from certain death. And I shall praise the dedication and quick thinking and actions of the highly trained V&A security guards that left us with little to do other than admire their work. Its certainly a novelty not to have to come up with excuses for widespread destruction. Im not saying were ever going to live down the incident at Stonehenge, but a few more like this and we might push it to the back of the civil service collective memory. Lester didnt smile, but there was the ghost of a wink as he sat down at his desk. The End Notes: I cant prove that ex-Gurkha Riflemen are among the security guards at the V&A, but Ive been a few times recently and I would be really surprised if there werent. The two items I mentioned are definitely in the collection, though: Elephant Goad and Naginata |